Morgan Utah To Build Dome Over Entire County To Prevent The Spread Of COVID-19

Depiction of proposed dome at 1/60,000th scale

As the world faces a pandemic of biblical proportion, Morgan Utah is setting a precedent in the fight against the COVID-19 Coronavirus.

The Morgan City Council unanimously voted 8 to 1 in favor of building a dome covering the entire area of Morgan County. In a fiercely debated meeting, proponents of the measure expressed the importance of acting quickly to keep the COVID-19 virus out of the county. As of now, there have been no reported cases of the Coronavirus in Morgan and the city aims to keep it that way.

​On the other side, those against this proposed measure say there is no way Morgan residents will be able to foot the 38 trillion dollar cost, which includes immediate hiring of 125,000 construction workers needed to start immediately. Plans include re-routing I-84 which runs from Echo to South Weber to elsewhere across the mountains. As city councilman Ed Beekly was overheard saying, "Pave a road over that shit hole they call Henefer, worm it over to that festering pit known as Park City and then drop it off in Slut Lake City." No doubt that the councilman was not aware he was overheard and will be real surprised when he reads it here.

"We all saw how this worked out for Springfield in the Simpsons movie and it didn't end well" said Buck Furley, one angry resident.

"Damn straight, and I ain't none too happy to be looking up and seeing people drivin' motorcycles on it neither" added Milo Crabworth. He saw that movie too he noted.

When asked about the expensive price tag, Mayor Artie Fufkin stated that taxpayers will each have $25,822.37 tacked on to each months water bill to pay for construction. "It's a small price to pay for serenity and peace of mind that our children will not contract this horrible disease if you ask me" he was quoted as saying, also clearly noting that the dome would do nothing to curb the current rash of syphilis cases plaguing the Porterville area right now.

Proponents against the dome argue that they are not getting the most important questions answered such as:

  • How will we get fresh air?
  • Where will the entrances be located and how will they be screened for the virus?
  • How will we snowmobile?
  • How many women will we need to hire to keep the dome clean?
  • If men are responsible for keeping the dome clean, how many men will it take to hire enough women to keep the dome clean?
  • Where will our farts go?

While those in favor state it will help Morgan over all by:

  • Keeping out South Summit scum
  • Keeping out Ogden scum
  • Keeping out Weber scum
  • Keeping out...well, you get it

More to come as this story develops including information regarding the tacked on bill for building a whorehouse in the empty lot by the bowling alley